21 and me.

2015 year is coming in 3 days time. A year for me to turn into 21 years old. 

This year, I started to think about my life seriously as my birthday passed. My age was started with "2", neither "0" nor "1" anymore. It is an age to take more responsibilities on whatever I do or say no matter I really mean it or not, to take care of family members no matter they are needed or not, to think about the direction of my life and to be independent no matter I am ready or not, to build social network no matter it is really my thing or not ...... People who know me would notice that I've changed a lot but people who know me WELL would notice I just changed a few. I guess there is one people in the world does --- my sister.

In high school, there was so much stress to pull and push me and I became serious, cool, calm, rigid ...... 

Perhaps, I was the one who has been pulling myself. I only released my own self in seniors year in high school, especially in senior three. And I still remembered what my close friends said. They were like : oh xiao xin you've changed ! HAHA In fact, I didn't change because that's the real me. And, this is going on when I'm in university. And, my high school friend got shocked and surprised when they met me in university. Haha  Hello everyone, welcome to meet the HALF-REAL me ! *wave hand*

Half-real me ? You would be wondered about this. I bet my sister is the only one who knows the truly real me. And, she took about 20 years time hahaha So, you can start counting the years now, friends. *wink* hahaha

But, I did change something --- my view for love and romance. Thanks to Taylor Swift. I inspired by her words : "You can have love around you without being in love and you can find romance in your life without being in a romantic relationship." 

I used to think that love and romance must relate to boyfriend girlfriend thing. And, I've wondered why I don't have a boyfriend. Was that my fault ? Was that I'm not deserve it ? Was that I'm too awful ? blah blah blah  Million of questions wandered in my mind. Now, I can laugh to my naive and funny thoughts because I define love as any single thing that could make me feel happy. And, being with family members is my love and romance. How about boyfriend ? I believe he will come to me when I'm not looking for him. That's so called FATE. Yes, I believe in fate. So, let's wait. 

I used to care about how people think of me,  the impression they have on me, the conversation about me...... Now, what I think is other people have no rights to define anything of me but if they do, let them do. Who cares what they think of me ? They care ? Let them care. I am the one who live my life so I am the one who defines it. There are too many stuff in life and we couldn't take care of every of them. So, we have to classify them into positive and negative and shake all the negative thing off.

And again, thanks to Taylor Swift. She taught me that people have to shake unnecessary thing off  to make ourselves to be happier.

It's time to say goodbye to the naive and somehow funny me. May I do well in becoming a young adult in my 21 age.

Let's embrace the new year and may you all have a pleasant year ahead ! All the best.

Love,

Seowyan
28.12.2014

P/S : This is the song that I recently obsessed with.
Like Lorde sings :" This is the start of how it all ends"
Say goodbye for all the bad things and leave them in 2014 because 2015 is coming very very soon.
Hope you enjoy the song ! :)